Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
