I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
from now on my penis is your penis
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
