It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize