The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
