can u get pink eye on your cock?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
