make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
