I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
