How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Less talking, more tequila
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
