I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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