It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
