Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
