I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
