Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
