so explain again why im purple
no
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
