dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
