my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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