haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Randomize