don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
