Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
