And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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