like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
