I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
