Porn is love you can see.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
