There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
