God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize