all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
