Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
