you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
