everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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