Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
