If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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