YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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