I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
