I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
