white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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