She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
