i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
