I hate all girls vehemently.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Come on in and take your pants off
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