i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
