He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
