Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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