just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
