Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
