are you so shy because you have an std?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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