question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
