all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
