Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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