you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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