You can't motorboat a personality
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
