you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
