Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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