Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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