I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
