So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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