addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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