theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
