I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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