I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
