the day after is always just damage control
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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