I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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