Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
