I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
